Who should text first?

Be it in love relationships, friendships or family there is always a consistent level of communication which needs to be maintained. Depending on where you are in life, these communications may have different implications. Being a kid, you would have more communication with your parents than any other group, being in college that will be with friends, being married that will be with your partner. The question here is who should text first and why we often drift apart from one another in life. You might find it strange that people can grow apart just because this question hasn’t been answered, think about all those people you know with whom you’ve not talked in a while now, is it because you don’t care about them anymore or is it because you both don’t know who should text first?

In the African community, it's custom for the youngest person to reach out to the eldest person. Due to this discrepancy, there often seems to be ruputure in communication between persons for a very long time, simply because both persons feel like it's the duty of the other to text first. Its kind of similar in relationships, the female feels like the male has to reach out to show attention and that he cares, while the male might think it's the female’s duty to do the talking, in friendships as well.

Not texting!=Not Caring

Very often we get caught up in the moment to the point where we only focus on what is going on at that very instant, in college you are focused on your friends and all the fun moments you share, so you forget about your parents. In a relationship you are focused on your partner to the point you forget about your friends, does this imply that you don’t care? I don’t think so. Not texting someone doesn’t mean you don’t care, but it rather shows that you have other priorities, which as well doesn’t mean the person isn’t important. Obviously, everybody can’t be a priority for you at every single moment, with all the persons we get to know during our lifetimes, we can’t expect to keep communication with them at all times, so we eventually drift apart.

All the people you have forgotten

Think about all those people you have forgotten, maybe that neighbor you got to meet when you lived somewhere or that passenger who seemed fascinating, these are all persons who you could definitely communicate with all the time but because right now you are focused on other things, you may not have spoken with them in a while. All those family relatives from an extended side, some who live in other cities or even in your current city but with whom you don’t necessarily bond with. There are just so many persons who would escape your memory simply because you can’t think about everybody all the time.

Its not pride but rather interest

Texting someone first isn’t pride but rather a show of interest, a person could be irrelevant for a very long time, but maybe you see an old picture or are reminded of a memory you both shared, and somehow that person gains a renewed relevance in your mind. Not texting a person doesn’t undermine the importance of that person in your life but rather shows that you have no interest in that person at that particular moment, does it mean the person isn’t important? No. What we expect often times is to be on the mind of other people all the time but that's seldom the case actually, people have things to do, problems to solve, so you might not always be on someone's mind. If for one reason or the other you feel like somebody has to text first then you should probably work on yourself a little more instead of expecting the other person to meet your expectations.

We are all busy

Let’s face it, we are all busy, even being bored does take some considerable amount of our time. Now more than ever before, there is just so much to do these days, from all the Youtube videos to watch to all the social media groups to respond to, we are definitely going to forget some few people along the way. So if you don’t want to forget a person then you had better include them in a chat group our make a mental note to talk to them as frequently as possible.

Thanks for reading!

Check out my blog for more articles, realjema.com




Software Engineer at #CAMTEL ||Graphic Designer||Content Creator 📽||Community Manger||Tech Enthusiasts||App Developer Mobile phone||Full Stack Developer

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium


Dating disaster zone

I Sleep Around

I’ve Never Been Good At Relationships

How Much Does Your Love Cost?

Gee, I’d love to cry right about now

Beware the Ides of March

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
real Jema

real Jema

Software Engineer at #CAMTEL ||Graphic Designer||Content Creator 📽||Community Manger||Tech Enthusiasts||App Developer Mobile phone||Full Stack Developer

More from Medium

Overthinking and How to Get Rid of It (2022)

12 Good Habits From The Zodiac

Jumpstart Your Health & Wellness Goals with Low-Hanging Fruit

12 Lessons That Video Games Taught Us